Conflicts are a common feature of a fully-fledged societal setting. They mainly appear as result of the diversity among the individuals. The difference in the thought formation process results in the choice of the different favored outcomes. As such, the individuals in the one system may have completely different opinions on the same fact or action. Thus, in the family setup, the personal differences and preferences of the family members are the potential reasons for the conflicts that may ruin the harmony and lead to the divorce (Radcliffe & Cassell, 2014). According to Wilmot & Hocker’s conflict assessment guide (2001), in order to find the main cause of the conflict, one should primary consider its nature. In addition, the conflict styles of the involved parties is also imperative to design the solution framework for the emerging differences. The role of power, the parties’ goals, and any previous attempts to find the solution allude to the severity of the conflict. Nowadays, the extramarital affairs are the key source of conflict in a family setup which leads to the mistrust. Thus, the current division and classification essay paper focuses on that issues and aims to revise it through the Wilmot & Hocker’s conflict assessment guide (2001).
The Nature of the Conflict
Once, I have observed a conflict in my neighborhood that nicely featured the extra marital affairs. The wife caught her man who should role as the family head in a series of compromising positions. As a result, the trust that is the main foundation of the family has been totally ruined. In addition, the history of the conflict is marked by the distance between the man and wife as he has landed a job out of town and only had the opportunity to be with his family at the weekends. The series of events documented by the wife feature a lot of lies told by the man, which totally contradicts his initially transparent personality. He started to diminish his weekly visits and used any excuses as a cover up. Moreover, several times during his visits, he received strange phone calls that he either ignored or picked up while no one was around. The onset of the events led to the inevitable suspicion that started to manifest in the wife’s perspective after she repeatedly tried to visit him at the work place or at the house out of town. Many inconsistencies in the husband’s explanations and the failure to keep up with the standard family routine further dented the relationship. Moreover, the wife found a series of e-mail chats and text messages sent to the other women by her husband. At first, the wife assumed that the main reason of change in the behavior of her beloved was in the pressure that he experienced at work, but later she realized that the distance between them became a determining factor that led to the infidelity. However, the man reproached the wife for being over-protective and insecure.
Furthermore, the core elements of the conflict address the financial condition of the family, as the man spent a lot during his escapades. The family could no longer keep up with the basic financial obligations. As the couple no longer spent much time together, they faced more and more communication problems. Thus, they had no chance to share their ideas on the issues or solve the existing problems. In addition, that lead to the parenting issues that resulted in the inability of the two adults to present an ideal picture of the happy family for their two teenage children (Boddi et al., 2015). The further relations just transformed from bad to worse due to the violence that appeared after awhile. The verbal assaults quickly turned into physical confrontations that sometimes ended with the injuries for the both parties. The whole situation only worsened day by day, but its roots were successfully identified in this section of the case study.
The Parties’ Conflict Styles
The major conflict style observed in this family is the competition. Each of the members has their own points of view that they try to prove. On the one hand, the wife often stands her ground to justify every claim she makes against the husband’s wayward habits. She tries to depict herself as a faultless victim in the entire situation. On the other hand, the husband embraces a combative approach to face the arising difficulties at home. He states that there is no physical evidence that can prove the suspicions of his wife. Such views of the both sides complicate the process of finding a positive solution for the growing problems. The emerging differences between the couple only worsens the situation. According to Widmer (2016), the negative effects of a such situation may be reduced if any party agrees to find a compromise that will establish a middle ground to attain a solution. However, no one wanted to give way or make concessions. The hard liners of the each parity were a setback and a potential threat to undermine the continued participation in the family activities.
The Role of Power in the Conflict
The role of power in the conflict is evident to a large extent. The ego of the individuals prevented all the chances for a potential positive resolution of the problem. The husband was not willing to offer any explanations on any of the different compromising situations that he had been caught in. The notion that he was the head of the family and deserved some privacy undermined any meaningful discussion that could be established within the family ranks as the basis for the desired success way-out of the conflict. Controversially, the wife claimed that the powers must be equally divided between both of them as both of them play important roles in the institution of the family. Her assertions were based on the equal roles that they played in the house. She believed that the husband had to provide the explanations on his behavior as it continued to affect their in the family life.
The Parties’ Goals
The key goal showcased by the wife is seeking a united front in the family. She was out to find a solution for the emerging discordance. She showed concern for the sudden change in the routine behavior of the husband and wanted to identify the cause of this change. Her main goal in the relationship was to bring back the initial peace and trust that united her family. That was the cause of her insecure behavior. She hoped to establish the trigger of the tendencies observed in the husband’s conduct. At the same time, the husband did not reflect on any potent solution for the arising problem in his family (Minnotte, Minnotte, & Bonstrom, 2015). He showed rigidity and general insistence on the need not to account for any of his actions. He clearly showed that he was not ready to compromise his powers as the head of the family. Thus, his behavior resulted in more problems that postpone the finding of a possible solution that would put the end to the tension between the pair. His goal is therefore evident: he wants to show to his wife that he can dominate as the male in the home setting and he will not accept any disobedience or suspicions.
Previous Attempted Solutions to the Conflict
During the hard times, the couple made two major attempts to find the solutions for their problem. Firstly, the main way to do so was to involve the relatives and friends in order to attain a neutral ground for the problem discussion. The couple intended to use the third part as a mediator that could facilitate the dialogue and oblige the man to provide his explanations in order to find a solution. The approach was favored by the wife but did not acquire any positive feedback from the friends and relatives, as they did not want to meddle into their personal affairs. Secondly, the couple asked for the services of a professional family counselor. But the option did not yield any positive progress as it was originally anticipated due to the unwillingness of the parties to find a compromise.
Proposed Intervention
The best practical solution that could have been used in the situation is the establishment of an understanding between the two parties. Nothing would have a better result than the voluntary consent to review the causes of the faced challenges. The willingness by the both sides to review their steps would be the ideal approach to attain a lasting solution in regard to the need for an improvement of this torn relationship. External assistance is likely to stall in the quest for a solution, as it does not give the couple a chance to brainstorm the main causes of the problems at a personal and family level (Messripour, Etemadi, Ahmadi, & Jazayeri, 2016). The couple should be willing to compromise and let go of hard liner stances. Accommodation of the different viewpoints should also be considered as the standard reference on which the established familial values would be restored. The dialogue between the husband and wife would rise the possibility to solve the problem and may accord with the wife’s proposals on moving into the husband’s house and visiting him at the work place. In addition, the distance would be bridged, that would limit the desire for extramarital affairs.
Conclusion
Wilmot & Hocker’s conflict assessment guide (2001) is an effective tool for reviewing the family conflicts. The components offer a guide on the frameworks that could be rolled out to attain the desired solution. The nature of the conflict offers the general conditions that could be the probable cause. The presented conflict styles indicate the basis of the possible future solution. The power that influences the conflict is reviewed to establish a standpoint that would yield the sought success. The goals and the already attempted solutions are the benchmarks for a new solution to be fronted. A review of the extra marital affairs conflict in the neighboring family justified the need of a dialogue between the couple.