consummate

Passionate love is associated with strong feelings of love and desire for a specific person. Finally, passion reflects the intensity of your sexual desire toward your partner. By passion, I think the article is referring to long kisses, romance, holding handes, etc.

The Triangular Theory of Love. I agree with the contents of this article.

Companionate Love vs. Consummate Love - These kinds of relationships can be found over long periods of time or idealistic relationships found in movies. Another theory was introduced by Maslow.

Love is complicated, arising in many forms. We may also experience different aspects of love at different stages of a relationship, and move in and out of various types of love over time. These are turbulent times, marked by ecstasy and fulfillment when loved is returned; but sadness and despair when it is not. Intimacy Love may also emerge as intimacy, marked by warmth, closeness and connectedness. Each partner wants to give and receive emotional support and share their innermost thoughts and experiences. Commitment Sometimes partners commit to stay together and maintain love and relationship through thick and thin. But this love is more compassionate than passionate. When a couple is committed but lack passion and intimacy, their relationship may be stagnant, lacking the emotional involvement and attraction they once had. Consummate love: intimacy + passion + commitment These different sorts of love may arise in various combinations. Romantic love can be full of passion and intimacy yet lack commitment. Companionate love can involve intimacy and commitment but lack passion. Or perhaps a couple experiences passion and commitment, yet still lack deep intimacy. Few couples who have been together for a long time will experience consummate love every moment. Most often the feeling waxes and wanes. And most couples experience different forms of loving styles throughout long-term relationships. It could also be that different styles of love are a better fit for different couples, depending upon where they are, and want to be, in life and love. Regardless of where you are, couples are best matched when they desire similar levels of each sort of love. Popular Posts on BroadBlogs I think the article makes a lot of sense when analyzing love. I think it is easy to see this when comparing high school relationships and adult relationships. In high school relationships, passion and intimacy are present, but commitment is not always possible when one is young and has their whole life ahead of them. It is hard to have a sense of commitment when one does not know where there will life will take them. After reading this article I started to understand my own failed relationship. I was in a relationship that had passion, commitment, and intimacy for about a year and then the passion waned. We were left with commitment and intimacy and desperately tried to make it work, but it is hard to continue a relationship based on those two things because we were young and still wanted romance in our lives. The most interesting form of love would be fatuous love. I understand the rest of the combinations of love and have had experience of each form, but fatuous is the one that I have not understood. The example that the instructor provided to describe fatuous love is when a couple gets married very quickly. The combination that forms this love is commitment and passion. I can never understand how people can jump into a relationship that fast, but I have seen others who have done so. I guess another example that I can recall that relates to this form of love is the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows. In reality, the time frame of their adventures is 3 months long. To decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone whom you only known for 3 months is ridiculous. Viewers are still attracted to the show, possibly because they too think that this fatuous form of love is odd and just as curious is I am to understand it further. I remember showing my boyfriend the triangle and explaining how two different ones, have a different effect. I remember we both explained which we feel in that stage we were in at the moment. It was actually kind of interesting as we answered differently. I thought that was cool, because although we were in the same relationship we both had different view points of how we were showing our love for one another in that time period. Being in this relationship for 3+ years now, I can absolutely say that periodically the triangle is constantly changing. Being in a long distance relationship, I am sure causes much of that. Many times I find that people really rather stay in the passion area rather than getting to know someone or spend more time with them. I think that much of our generation is stuck on passion because of the media that is out right now. I have always been a strong believer of levels in love. Unfortunately, I was always somehow stuck in one of them, usually the first level. The passionate love stage, the high, as the writer called it. However, I also believe that intimate love is at a peak at this stage rather than coming after, at least in my cases. All because the high and the intimacy came at different times for me and my significant other. No matter however way we tried to approach it, we seem to miss the point. So, reading this article has truly helped me identify the issue. And realize that we just need to communicate our feelings better. I hope that more people read articles such as this one and realize where they stand in their relationship and whether it should move forward. I not only enjoyed reading your article but can relate. Finally I can put a mathematical equation to my feelings, which may in turn help me communicate to my husband. We have been together for nearly 30 years now and I feel we are in the Companionate Love Intimacy + Commitment stage of our relationship. When combined, commitment and intimacy make powerful emotional bonds, meaning that the companionate connection is stronger than simple friendship. However, the lack of passion means that this is often quite a chaste, comfortable arrangement — the sort of thing that might happen after years of familiarity. My fear is without the romantic aspect, we could be headed for disaster. Need more research as to get that fire rekindled again. Hi, Thanks for this blog. Now I read it it takes me back to my previous relationship, I am able to compare to the one I am part of now. For the longest time, he had been trying his very best to win me over, until I finally gave him the chance. By this time, I was the one who wanted to feel loved, appreciated, respected. Toward the end of our relationship I felt like I was begging him to love me, accept me for who I was, and respect me. Our relationship lacked of commitment and honesty. In comparison to my current relationship, I feel the luckiest girl in the world, to not only be respected and accepted for who I am, but also appreciated, supported, and elevated by my partner. It is also composed of passion and intimacy. I wish this kind of love for everyone! I agree with this blog. Passion is the original attraction, and intimacy makes couple keep in touch, commitment give them responsibilities and obligations. I think passion is a very difficult thing to maintain, it will disappear when people have more and more knowledge of each other, and daily life in pieces always kill the mystique and curiousness. Our appetite discovery slows as our familiarity with the status quo grows. However, commitment will help us to maintain the passion, it can help the feeling of love become longer. I have known people who I have know and have been my friends before they started dating and have met everything in the triangular theory and are now engaged. It is very interesting to think of all the factors that can make a relationship work out so well. I also believe that a strong bond of love combines all three aspects in order to have a strong form of love. It is very difficult to define love as well; however, the triangular theory is a great way to view components of strong love. Love is so hard to find and define which makes it such a remarkable topic to discuss. To add on I also believe that everyone in life deserves to love and to feel loved. This reading will help me in my future relationship because it really questions what you are lacking if you are not locked into the relationship. Many guys are heavy into passion and not so much the other two. Thanks for your thoughts on this. I can relate to pretty much everything you said. And I know that I have definitely done the project thing. So yeah, my husband would be an example of that. And I would say that he is growing. I agree with this article, to truly make a relationship work there should be a balance of intimacy, passion and commitment. Sadly we live in an society where relationships often tend to fail throughout a short period of time because we lack significant balance either of the three aspects that are required when you truly love someone and want to built a strong and healthy relationship with that person. This could possibly a relationship greatly based on intimacy, and later fail to commit because they lack passion. Therefor we most learn that it is significant to built up a good foundation within our relationships and trust ourselves and our partner to love and commit to each other intimately and passionately. This has some great insight about relationships, I believe that my girlfriend and I are on the right track so far. We have been together for about a year and a half and we hit all three pillars. She is basically my best friend and she helps me get through tough days and turns them into better days. It is to early to say but I do feel like I can spend my life with her. We have our bad days, however, we are able to sit down and be mature and sensitive about each others feelings. We are by no means the perfect couple but we like to act like it. I believe that we can keep these three pillars, and be happy, our relationship will continue to grow. I was not aware that there were three pillars of love to know the relationship is going the right way. I found this article very interesting, because I always want to know what more I can do in my relationship to keep it healthy and last. I have been in a long term relationship for 2 years and about to be 26, so we are very serious. I am very relieved that me and my boyfriend meet all the pillars. We have always decide to be honest with each other and that communication is key to any relationship, so we make sure we talk and discuss every thing and I do believe it has made us a very strung couple, because it shows we can get through anything and that we trust each other. And still after 2 years we still have so much passion and intimacy towards each other, it makes me feel good that we are perfect for each other and that we will keep at these three pillars to help us through our whole relationship. This was nice to read because it finally put words to what I was feeling in my marriage. I am happily married, but some days feel better than others. Marriage is work, but I am grateful to be in a relationship that has solid pillars of passion, intimacy, and commitment. I have been in other relationships that lacked one or two pillars and it never could have worked. I find it very interesting from a psychological stand point that they were able to narrow the needs of couple love down to three pillars. I agree with the triangular theory and look forward to my further personal research. This article made me realize where i fit exactly. Love to me is still a mysterious subject. I never get tired of reading about it, and every time i do it feels like the first time. It makes you wonder if it is possible that you fall in love with your partner everyday. It just gets painful when you see someone who loves someone badly and not get love in return. They stay there hoping things will change. Let me stop with the painful stuff. Even if you fell in love 10 years back, the three words your partner say to you still makes you smile. The moments spent still makes you smile. I wonder if divorced couples still wanna go back to the spouse that put a smile on their faces before love got bitter. The kind of love that gets you down on your knees, makes you cry all night long, gives you sleepless nights when things go wrong is the kind of love I respect. Maybe Consummate love or the Selfless love. True love is a kind of concern and care from the heart, there are no gorgeous words, there is no act of grandstanding, you can only feel bit by bit in words and deeds. That is a theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. As I read the article, I felt it was quite interesting when we knew there were several stages of love. However, the time length of different stages may differ from couples. Therefore, maybe it is difficult for some of the couples to reach comsummative love. What brings about the need for intimacy? Why do you need it to keep a relationship going? This article really opened my own eyes to why it is so important to really open your heart to someone and not just parts of it. We have become so open with each other and tell each other absolutely everything without holding anything back. This was an interesting article. I feel that I knew these different stages to love, but I just did not know the names for them. I am currently seeing this guy and right now I think I am at the passionate phase, because I feel like I am experiencing this high whenever I hear from him and I never want it to end. The feeling is instantaneous, it comes and goes based on how we are communicating, which leads me to believe that I am just infatuated. Maybe that is the same thing, I am not sure. I hope that it develops into something more later down the road, like consummate love, because I need to get off this high and learn to depend on myself for my own happiness. We have been stay together for a long time, at least 3years and we are studying together in the US. He and I depend on each other, and we always do things together. In the beginning, we had a passionate love. We want to meet each other every time, and we talk and text on the phone. Moreover, the time he played game was less than staying with me. However, his passion is less after a year. Yes, after lack of passion, our relationship feel like more a like or friendship as what article mentioned. As this article, if couples want to complete the consummate love, their need come up with three things as passion, intimacy, and commitment for perfecting love to lovebirds. I love these type of articles! I have to agree with this article that in a relationship it is important to have passion, intimacy and commitment. I currently am in what you could consider a long-term relationship. Passion, intimacy and commitment are the major keys to a healthy and lasting relationship. If you or your partner feel no sort of strong meaningful passion from one another then there could be a fix to that but usually ends up in a break up. Intimacy can be tricky, because not everybody is very affectionate with others even if they claim to be in love with this specific person. Intimacy can be a simply kiss or a simply hug to someone but to their partner it could be the complete opposite. Commitment I would say has different meanings in others relationships. To me it is having mad respect for your partner and showing your true love and care for this person because I am sure no body would show commitment to something they find unworthy and a waist of time or without seeing a future. Therefore, in my perspective all three factors can be apart of a relationship but demonstrated differently. I have to agree with you that in a relationship you need passion intimacy and commitment. I have had relationship that did not work out because I was committed but I was not passionate with that person. There has been a relationship that I have had all three feelings which would have to best you can feel with a person that was the best relationship I have had with someone. There is no point in being in relationships with people if there is no connection between one another. Yes, I have commitment! At the same time, I have great intimacy towards my girlfriend. Although we have different personality and hobbies, I feel huge connection between us. I feel satisfied with our relationship. I love this two sentences: 1. Regardless of where you are, couples are best matched when they desire similar levels of each sort of love. I did not know a lot about intimacy, passion and commitment. When I am in a relationship I am always passionate, I always feel passion. What I always luck when I am in a relationship is commitment. I always look for intimacy before we become couples. I always choose intimacy as the first step because we learn to know each other, our likes and dislikes and our characters. I think intimacy is the key to a relationship. I found this post very intriguing and useful since I have recently met someone and we are trying to make things work. For the past week I have become impatient since I was ready to move onto level 3, but reading this article made me realize that it takes time, patience, and communication to build a long lasting relationship. I am trying to find a balance to where we both meet a mutual level of understanding in our relationship. Thank you for providing an insight, I think more often than so people forget that relationships and love in general take a lot of work. I agree with the contents of this article. Particularly in the three pillars of passion, intimacy and commitment being what stabilizes a healthy relationship. Speaking from my experiences, as well as the ones of my friends, many relationships nowadays are strained in the sense that they are not achieving all three pillars of stability but rely on intimacy and commitment. The idea of empty love comes into play here, some couples in this predicament elect to stay together in the hopes that passion will eventually present itself. Passion, like other pillars, requires care and effort in order to last in a healthy relationship and is not always attained instantaneously. Though sometimes it does, often times couples are pressured to pretend they are happy together in order to wait for an outcome that may never come to pass. This was an interesting gem to find here that I found via the related posts. After looking at your explanation and talking it over with my spouse — We both determined that we both match the levels and types of love that we individually seek. However, our approach to determining this was fairly interesting as I opted to have my spouse read the article alone and then we both wrote in chronological order the types of love that we have gone through at different phases since the start of our relationship. Interesting enough, we both had nearly identical answers and it filled me with a sense of joy that we both were mature enough to reflect our relationship on our own. I found this article very compelling. Myself and my partner have experienced the triangle describes in the text. We have also experienced a combination, in particular commitment and passion without intimacy. To consider the passion that I feel for my partner, the hot, fiery, sticky, wet and all those things inappropriate to put up on social media. Commitment which is the longevity and intimacy which is the deathless. All areas are required. The three areas are the skeleton but we as individuals, couple have to add the meat to take our relationships to a much stronger and more fulfilling place. Interested to know more. It is very interesting article. I grow up in Asia and it is extremely important about the commitment part. But I think the love only depend on passion is dangerous. Passion is the quickest to develop, but the quickest to fade. I think love with intimacy and commitment is much better than the love only with passion. I agree that these are key to a good relationship. My husband and i have been together for many years and we have had different combinations of these throughout our relationship. At times we are in different places than the other person, but try to communicate this and return to sharing the same or balancing it to make it all work. I would say that communication is another big key to keeping a relationship working. I would say there are other important parts to relationships and different things are more important to each individual relationship. But i think to have a good solid long lasting one, that you need all three of these things plus communication. I really love this post because of how relatable it is to me. I had a boyfriend who was so lovey dovey that got me annoyed so fast. He was also committed and it made me feel like I was going to be stuck with him for the rest of my life which also got me a little scared. Also, his level of intimacy was so exaggerating that it made me want to disassociate myself from all sorts of physical contact with me. He ended up cheating on me, I forgave him and things were not the same anymore. It turned into a very abusive and draining relationship. I loved this article because I do have to agree that there needs to be some sort of equalness between intimacy, commitment, and passion. I really enjoyed this article and was aware of the different levels of love. Love for me has been so complicated. I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. When I first met this guy we were in passionate love. We stayed on the phone from 10:00pm until 6am the next day for months. Just sit and listen to each other breath. As time passed so did the passionate love. The 3rd year into our relationship we moved on to another level of love which is the intimacy level. We have been on this level for two years now and I have became overwhelmed and heartless, because of how he treats me and his never ending verbal abuse. On the same level for two years who in their right mind would want to work things out when you have tried over and over again with the same results. I am relieved by expressing my feelings to the world. Something I been carrying for year. Now I am free to move on without him. Again thank you for this article. This article help me to understand a subject I was discussing at work with coworkers. We were taking about true love or if it was love at first sight existed. Also that not everyone love the same ways. One of my coworkers is in the passionate stage this an new relationship and they are still love birds, however the other is married and has been from some till without any passion. Myself I would like a love that is empty so it could grow over time and become passionate with intimacy then commitment. The way my mom tells it to us it was hard living with him and dealing with him but over time, she soon grew to love him. I totally agree with this article, it is so true that a relationship can only be long lasting and happy if they have the three elements and they are passionate, intimacy and commitment. Even though some people say a relationship should base on the feeling you got towards another person, I think if two people do not have commitment or intimacy, the bond between them will be very weak. To me, commitment is very important to a stable and long lasting relationship because it is like a promise to one another. But if you only have commitment but without passionate and intimacy, the relationship will be very dull and not close at all. Therefore, the combination of passionate, intimacy and commitment can help to build a healthy relationship. This article help clarify some of the experiences I have had. This article gave me some structure on which I can define where I stand in a relationship. I struggle with the idea that an ultimately fulfilling relationship requires passion, because passion is by nature fleeting. Passionate romantic feelings are produced by physiological responses that almost always have an expiration date. I always thought that if passion was necessary for a satisfying relationship, then we could only hope for serial monogamy at best. Not lasting, happy relationships. Am I missing something? Passion does tend to diminish over time. I have a friend who had been married for years and her passion increased when she chose to look at her husband in a different way. Instead of taking him for granted, she would look at him and think about all of his amazing qualities. It had a big effect on the relationship — not surprisingly, in a positive way. Otherwise, take a look at these posts too: The Brain on Love vs Lust Passionate Love: Like a Drug, or Mental Illness Currently being in a relationship I found this incredibly interesting. I could not help but compare it to my relationship and try to see different aspects of it in these separate categories. I also liked how it explained each type of love and tried to understand each of them as well as I could. I did however struggle a bit on understanding commitment alone, is it really still considered love? I tried to think of an example in my life where I have seen something like this and the only thing I can think of are my parents. They are the perfect example of commitment alone or as it says above empty love. Their sole purpose for being together is to raise their children and nothing else. I thought this was a great read. I feel like relationships definitely need all three of these characteristics if they are going to last. Lacking intimacy in a relationship is sort of like missing a pinky toe— things get really unbalanced. Having a partner that is also your best friend is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. I really enjoyed this article! That is unhealthy and unfulfilling, you may care for someone very much, but if you feel as though you are restraining yourself from experiancing other meaningful love. I feel people get caught up in this alot. After being married for over 20 years and 5 children, I can tell you that love includes all of those components and each of them come and go, however a strong, loving relationship filled with passion, desire, respect, laughter and excitement is developed through strong relationship with God, communication and lots of love making. I think that two people who love each other can become bored with each other unless you two are talking about what you need. Consummate love: intimacy + passion + commitment these can be obtained if both are wiling to work for it and work hard. Intimacy is very important and it is just not sexual, it can be a wife getting home from work after a hard day and she does not need to say a word, her husband already knows and he takes care of her, whether that be run a bath or cook dinner. And there are times when a wife should know that although she may not be in the mood, her man needs some love and attention. Life is too short to let the person you love go a day not knowing that you adore them and are over the top attracted to them. This was a great topic! Often times, passion precedes the other two. Intimacy comes from passion, and commitment comes from intimacy and moral obligation. Relationships are not a recipe and even though many relationships are more healthy than others, the stage of love changes. Meaning that not always two people are at the same stage but if they are both understanding of each others needs this moments are more often for them than the other groups who are not connected at this levels. The cense of carrying and respect are always there but the levels of love change. This article was interesting because it helped give me a new perspective on my relationships. I think the most important aspect of the article was saying that relationships are best when both people want to achieve the same levels of the different loves. Being on the same page about where a relationship is going and how much it means to each person is equivalent to communication, which is a key aspect to any healthy relationship. After reading about the three pillars of love, I have acquired new in depth knowledge of the different stages of love in a relationship. It makes perfect sense that when you combine passion in addition to intimacy and commitment they equal consummate love. Consummate love is ideal for people in relationships to strive to work towards because this form of love is complete with all three important components of love. I want to definitely work towards consummate love in my relationship. And I think I can also achieve consummate love if I work on one of the components of love that is currently lacking in my relationship. I really do appreciate you sharing this article with everyone because this article has provided insight that I might not have ever learned. It can have a feeling like something important to you dying. Well something that is important, like the future of what could have been getting darker. Cheating on someone comes from being unhappy in the relationship and not getting what one needs out of it. I personally take all three pillars in high consideration when thinking about engaging in a relationship. However, each pillar weighs differently. I am a very affectionate and loving person so intimacy and passion are extremely important and act as a foundation for my long term relationships. I can still feel these feelings and fill these positions of love without actual verbal or legal commitment. From personal experience I have found that when I share passionate love with another, everything else falls into place in terms of mutual feelings and commitment. However, intimacy often jumpstarts and increases the feelings of passion and from then on feelings expand. This more than likely leads to commitment in which I generally accomplish having an abundance of all thre types of love. I have actually only had this success only once and although the feelings are not completely the same, that relationship taught me that having it is more than possible to be able to share a mutual respect of these three types of love. Love is complicated and there is no perfect formula for all couples. For myself, I know I need my partner to be my best friend; they need to make me laugh, be willing to explore the world with me, and support me. Love seems so much more complicated when it is all written down in words and analyzed like this. This was an interesting article though. It is hard to imagine that you can ever find someone that will perfectly fit each and every expectation their is to love as you. I guess you just have to give a little and work at it if you really want a relationship to work and be sucessful. This topic is very interesting and a very serious one. Love is long lasting, its ongoing, just because your lover gets hurt or loose a leg its not right to divorce or break up with them. When you are in love with someone that should be the priority and its a really strong commitment that you are giving. Love is really a great thing that should be more emphasized today. I know that when I first heard of these three tiers of love that I felt a little relieved. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over five years and I know that our love had morphed into something that is different than what it was when we first met. I was around all of my friends who are just starting to date new people and they cant seem to be apart from their new flames, and I really missed what my boyfriend and I first had, I thought it went away. What really happened was that it transformed into something that I consider more important, our intimate love and compassionate love had taken the place of some of the passionate love. I realized that although we had lost some of the beginning excitement of start of our relationship, we ended up with something real. I found this article to be quite intriguing, maybe because my boyfriend and I just had a fight prior hahaha. I think that the 3 levels of love, all of the depth and layers in the levels are very conclusive as to why love is such a complicated topic. Passionate love is almost like a first love, the butterflies in the stomach what to wear, how will he react to me. When you put more into the relationship because you feel you will get the same out when in reality they might not feel as passionately as you do. Intimacy, my soul mate, who I am destined to be with. The connection two people feel to be honest and opened and not feel ashamed. Commitment, the ten letter word and both parties in the relationship have to do there fair share. Its an even word so the commitment level should be equal on both parts to make it work. To place trust in someone to always be there but love them in all there aspects, and have the compassion to accept their faults. Commitment is the bond that keeps two people together, the bond that makes I into we and we becomes a team. Consummate Love is a love that is deep, almost unreal. This is the love I envy and I hope one day I do find, and I hope many do find. Love is a tricky subject is all aspects, positive and negative. I always knew there was a formula sort of explanation on love. I know that my boyfriend and I have all three components so far. I also think that love is not something that should be forced and should come naturally, but then again arranged marriages sometimes work with the forcing of loving and being loved. I guess I believe in the whole butterflies in the stomach feeling because in my past experiences I knew that if I did not have those butterflies the relationship or feelings would not last. Love is great and can be the answer to all the worlds problems. If humans could only love one another there would not be racism, hatred, and backstabbing. The love triangle is great. In order to show love, means a relationship should have trust, commitment, passion, and intimacy. Whichever level the couples are on, all depends on how they want their relationship to end up. The couples end up having a successful relationship when both individuals are in the same pace while building the blocks to a sturdy well-built relationship.

I found this article to be quite servile, maybe because my boyfriend and I just had a fight prior hahaha. Therefore, in my perspective all three factors can be apart of a relationship but demonstrated differently. We have been together for nearly 30 years now and I feel we are in the Companionate U Intimacy + Commitment stage of our relationship. consummate love definition I thought consummate love definition was a great read. It makes you wonder if it is possible that you fall in love with your partner everyday. At times we are in different places than the other person, but try to communicate this and zip to sharing the same or balancing it to make it all work. Intimacy plus commitment gives you companionate love, while fatuous love is born when commitment meets passion. Love seems so much more complicated when it is all written down in words and analyzed like this. North, I think we all want and need passion and romance and affection and respect and consideration and tenderness and support and encouragement and understanding. As I read the article, I felt it was quite interesting when we knew there were several stages of love.