Can Lying Affect the Intimacy of a Relationship?

While every situation is unique, consider these thoughts if you discover an incident of dishonesty in your relationship: Is the person willing to fess up and come clean? Since I'd moved from New York City to Woodstock in the aftermath of our breakup, I was mostly surrounded by new people and so spent most of my time alone. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.

Lying Erodes Vulnerability When trust disappears, vulnerability also disappears. Cloud and Townsend warn that we need to stay away from these people. Finally, people lie to manipulate someone into something.

Articles and Advice on Lying, Infidelity, and Cheating Spouses - Relationship Problem: Communication All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. That is because lies, even small ones, erode the trust between two people, and trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them. Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error. Relationship Problem: Communication All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. Continued Relationship Problem: Sex Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway? Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on. Relationship Problem: Money Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling NFCC recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, policies, debts, and investments to the table. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too. Continued Relationship Problem: Struggles Over Home Chores Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home, says Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of From the Inside Out. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you. Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life. Relationship Problem: Conflict Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues. Problem-solving strategies: You and your partner can learn to argue in a more civil, helpful manner, Silverman says. Make these strategies part of who you are in this relationship. It is your choice whether you react and how you react. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others? Problem-solving strategies: You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling. Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in. Karen Sherman, PhD, author, Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last. Allison Cohen, MFT, psychotherapist, California. Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround, Moody Publishers, 2009. Gail Cunningham, spokeswoman, National Foundation for Credit Counseling. Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author, Blending Families. © 2009 WebMD, LLC.

It all comes down to this: Lying comes with a huge cost — it destroys lives. Long-term emotional abuse can result in low self-esteem, withdrawal from sin and friends, depression, illness, anxiety, and giving up on goals. Joe has wrestled with depression his whole life. Still, lies have different magnitudes—some are tremors, others are full-fledged earthquakes. Give yourself permission to respond in the way you feel is best. Lies of omission People often piece themselves in believing that lies of omission are not really lies. You do not deserve this treatment, but recognizing and leaving an emotional abuser is a process that takes time. To help you find the information you are looking for, we have organized our site by the social topics: Dealing with a Lying and Cheating Spouse Initially, most people approach the topic of lying and infidelity somewhat reluctantly—driven by their curiosity or by a recent, unexpected discovery. Explain that you can't help but be hyperaware that the person might lie, and that until he or she demonstrates a commitment to the truth over a prolonged period of time, your trust will still be broken. For them, lying is an essential part of their personality. I hate to lie but I always find myself doing it.