10 Signs Your Relationship Is Working

If you know you should end your relationship but can't bring yourself to do it because you feel sorry for the person you're with, or don't think they could ever find anyone else, you're only prolonging the pain. Sure, some will not like you. If your love doesn't change him, your independence might. In an unhealthy relationship, you usually feel drained and depleted.

In fact, as we recently referenced in an , constant fighting is the cause of nearly one-third of all breakups. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? But other times there are more nuanced signs and reasons to move on.

How to Determine if Your Relationship is Likely to Last - At some point a corner of your brain dares register the thought: Could this be one of those?

At some point in nearly all of our romantic lives, we end up. It's nothing to be ashamed of — maybe you got swept up in the idea of how fun love seems, and went for it with someone who wasn't right for you. Or maybe you were still in the process of learning about yourself and weren't even sure what the right relationship for you would be like. No matter who you are or what you're like, it's pretty easy to find yourself stuck in a relationship that isn't awful, but isn't really working, either. Realizing that you're can be one of the most confusing romantic problems to deal with, because there are no giant, explosive red flags; while we're in the wrong relationship, we often think the fact that we're happy some of the time is proof that things are working. A lot of the time, the fact that you were a bad match only becomes clear long after you've split up, when you're trying to puzzle out what happened. And even after we break up, it's often hard to recognize that we couldn't make things work just because the people involved weren't on the same page; it often feels easier to blame outside forces school, work , or your former partner. But despite the lack of huge red flags, there's often a feeling — a frequent vibe of confusion, exhaustion and general frustration with the relationship — that indicates that you and your partner don't have complimentary personalities, values or goals, and are simply a It takes a while to feel at ease with a new partner, and most of us feel anxious and eager to impress someone when we start dating. But we also usually develop some degree of comfort with a new partner soon after we get serious — and that comfort helps lay some of the groundwork for developing a lasting relationship. A 2015 UK survey of 2,000 couples found that those who had long-lasting, successful relationships generally to do things like talk about exes or confide about health concerns. You Don't Have Much In Common Maybe you were thinking that opposites attract — hey, it worked for , right? Maybe your last ex was so similar to you that it made you feel bored, so you made sure your new partner was nothing like you. But that's probably not an amazing plan if you're looking to cultivate a serious relationship. A 2015 eHarmony survey found that not having enough in common was one of the second only to feeling like their partner didn't respect their autonomy. How To Tell You Might Be In The Wrong Relationship: If you and your partner seem to have almost nothing in common — from your tastes in movies to your beliefs about how people should conduct themselves in relationships — you're not only going to experience needless stress; you may also have a rough time bonding. Trying to build a life together with someone who doesn't understand your jokes, your values, why you're obsessed with your job or why you love your collection of vintage Pokemon figurines can be really difficult. If you're making it work with your cartoon cat and you're happy, good for you! But if you feel like you're banging your head against the wall every time you try to make your partner see your point of view, it could be time to rethink your relationship. Your Partner Relies On You For Their Happiness And Blames You For Their Sadness We'd all like to make our partners happy — that's part of the joy of being in a relationship. You Can't Agree On How Much Time To Spend Together This seems obvious, but sometimes, it's hard to notice while you're in the middle of it — perhaps you've convinced yourself that you're avoiding your partner because you're stressed out at work, or that your partner is texting you instead of seeing you face-to-face because they have a lot going on right now. And it's true, even some great relationships go through periods where partners can't see each other as much as they'd like. If you genuinely don't want to hang around your partner, and only do it out of guilt, that's another. How To Tell You Might Be In The Wrong Relationship: If making time for your partner feels like a burden — and this could include hanging out as well as answering texts and emails — it's worth examining those feelings. It's also worth examining things if your partner makes demands on your time that go beyond what is reasonable — and know that only you can determine what is reasonable and feels good. So if your ideas about how much time you should spend together feel wildly mismatched, it might be time to reconsider things. Your Relationship Doesn't Make You Happy Yup, this is the bullet point where I just start to sound like your mom. Almost all couples have fights and conflicts, and do things that annoy each other. But ultimately, most of them are happier for having their partner in their life. Do you think Virginia Woolf was happy when she was writing To The Lighthouse? Who is to say what happiness really looks like? I mean happy in that you see this person and your day gets better. You go on a date with your partner and you're happier than you were when you were not with your partner. The idea of breaking up with them upsets you not because you'd be lonely, or because you'd feel like you weren't worthwhile, but because your life is happier for having them in it. How To Tell You Might Be In The Wrong Relationship: Research Dr. John Gottman studied numerous couples to find what traits precipitated breakups, and found that typically had 20 positive interactions for every one negative interaction; couples who split up had five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. Which points to a simple yet easy to miss truth about romantic relationships: they're supposed to make us happier. They don't mean that relationships you should make you feel so crappy, you feel like you should be getting paid to stay in them. The good news is that being in the wrong relationship is no one's fault; you both just made an honest mistake. The bad news is that, when you and a partner are essentially mismatched, there isn't really any way to change or reconcile — the best thing to do is usually to recognize it for what it is, and to get out as compassionately as possible. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on.

We all need time to do our own things, and the right relationship is one in which both jesus understand and appreciate that about each other. Determine whether you still share common interests and goals. But comfort is rarely an indication of a life well-lived. Her psychology research articles have been published in Personality and Individual Differences and in Modern Psychological Studies. The file we spend together is wonderful. He holds my hand and opens the doors. My wife makes me better. But the symphony of opinions is likely drowning out the only voice that matters—your own. He is a great guy, younger than me of 12 years. Custodes break up even the best of relationships. Stop projecting your own insecurities onto the other person. Go out of your comfort zone.