Log in to The Mighty

You can help more by finding interesting things to do and learn. Listening may be the best quality of a deep friendship. He takes care of me and I never even had to explain myself.

The experience is not fundamentally different than dating someone without a mental illness, but there are issues that are more likely to arise. Some days, getting out of bed and putting on real pants is a monumental achievement. What do I do?

Log in to The Mighty - When I teased people in a loving way and laughed at myself that I started having fun. If you make plans and have to cancel because your loved one is having a hard time leaving the house, will you be able to set aside your plans to reassure your loved one that you understand?

When you date a man with depression, it can become a struggle to maintain a relationship with him and protect your own mental health. The experience is not fundamentally different than dating someone without a mental illness, but there are issues that are more likely to arise. By understanding these issues and knowing how to respond, you can support the man you love without threatening the relationship or your emotional wellbeing. Note: We discuss the following insights in the context of dating men, but they apply equally to women. Scroll further down to read about behaviors and situations you are more likely to encounter with men only. Also realize you are not guaranteed to encounter these issues when you date someone with depression. Depression simply increases their likelihood. We also wrote an. The Depression Coming Out Conversation Whether you ask or deduce it after months of dating, there will be a point when your partner discloses they deal with depression. Thank him for trusting you with this information he has most likely not shared with many people. See it as the beginning of a discussion you can resurface occasionally. One person says something nice. The person with depression would love to receive this kindness as it is, but their depression has set up a series of negative filters. By the time the kind words reach the person with depression, the filters have mutated it into something negative such as an insult or affirmation of their negative beliefs. Dating makes the situation even more difficult because there is more vulnerability. Evgueni Borissenko, who has dealt with severe depression and blogged about it, talked about what this can be like in cases such as his. If this happens, choose your words carefully. Tell him exactly what you mean and explain why what you are saying is positive. If his response seems like an attack, resist the instinct to be defensive. This is vital because attacking back can exacerbate his depression. Show him he deserves love that will free him and make his life better rather than becoming another burden. He Does Not Want to Be Depressed Depression is not a choice. If any man with depression had a choice, he would choose to be rid of it. One of the most hurtful things you can do to a man with depression is say it is his fault, that he could choose to be better if his will or character was stronger. Even the strongest men, however, are not immune to illness and cannot cure it alone. If he hurts you, you should know he most likely did not intend to hurt you, said matchmaker Cassie Moffit, who has successfully matched couples with mental illness. Knowing this will allow you to be more patient and understanding. There might be days when it seems like this third person possesses your partner, trying his best to disrupt the relationship or come between the two of you. Without excusing the behavior, be patient and understand this person is not at the core of who your man is. He wants to be free of this person. If the relationship is bringing you more pain than happiness — despite attempts to make it healthy — leaving is the right decision. It might seem like you are abandoning him, leaving him at the mercy of his depression and without your love to protect him. Nonetheless, men have a responsibility to work with those they love to overcome the depression and make it more manageable. You should leave any man who is not doing enough to make the relationship work, and men who suffer from depression are no exception. Depression and Antidepressants Can Affect Sex If your partner uses a treatment for depression such as antidepressants, it might affect the sexual part of your relationship. It can make him not want to have sex as often or seem less satisfied with it, psychiatrist Grant H. There should be no blame. This bothers both sexes, but it seems to irritate men significantly more, according to the and men Talkspace interviewed. They Can Be More Irritable All of the therapists Talkspace spoke to described men with depression as being more irritable on average than their female clients. Men often hide depression because they see it as a sign of weakness, Christiansen said, but the symptoms tend to seep out in the form of irritability and fatigue. You can help him by encouraging positive distractions and guiding him away from the negative ones. You can even be one of those positive distractions on occasion. Men also use distractions to remove themselves from the pain of depression. This can make them seem disinterested or oblivious. CIA Medical Senior Editor Sarah Lisovich deals with depression and has dated a man with the illness. She said their outings often felt emotionally distant because both of them were trying to distract themselves from depression, from talking about it and discussing intense feelings. Because the depression itself can be a distraction, there are other times when men with depressive symptoms can seem disinterested in those they are dating. Francis, who deals with symptoms of depression as a result of his schizoaffective disorder. But remember, you did not cause their illness. It existed before you met him. Buffer Stress by Making Space for Yourself Because depression can feel like a third person in the relationship, you might need a healthy amount of space. This can alleviate the irritability issue mentioned earlier. Ava Strong, who has dated a man with depression, recommended partners practice and self-love. This means protecting your mental health by giving yourself space when you feel it is at risk, which brings us to the next piece of advice. Consider Seeing a Therapist It seems ironic, right? Working with a therapist helps mitigate the of being in a relationship with a man who deals with depression. It will allow you to better understand what he is going through and lead by example if he is. Again, this might be easier than convincing him to see a therapist alone. This involves asking your man to make a prediction about how pleasant or unpleasant he thinks an activity or event will be on a scale of one to 10 — 10 being amazing and zero being horrendous. When the event is done, ask him to rate how it actually was using the same scale. It might also chip away at the negative beliefs he uses to maintain the depression. Relationship expert April Masini recommended always having a Plan B, especially when dating a man with depression. Depression can threaten a relationship, but couples can overcome it by understanding the illness and knowing how to respond to various situations. It seems daunting, but these are only situations you should prepare for. They are not guaranteed to happen.

In its worst form, depression can lead to death. Perhaps Aunt Sally now that Joe passed away. If you glad from depression, you're probably familiar with the days spent in bed because you just can't get up or the plans cancelled and parties skipped because you can't find a reason to go. Let them feel your presence and know you aren't going anywhere. We are now 10 jesus on from diagnosis. Wow, You hit the nail on the head. AND there CAN be too many texts!.