I Broke Up With My Boyfriend…

Nothing has changed but I feel like that was what I needed to do to be able to let it go. You want to rebuild complicity and trust now. I have always wanted a future with him!

Like you said, I saved both us more pain down the road. We never got into an argument, i was trying to be the perfect girlfriend by being very understanding he is in the rotc program, plays sports in college, and is just very busy but somehow he finds time to have fun. In your situation, I would recommend you reading the articles I published recently about toxic relationships… personally, I never liked the term toxic relationship, but what I explain in the article will probably be helpful to you so you can gain some clarity and perspective.

I Broke Up With My Boyfriend… - But for the next days, I think he will already bring the girl back to our old place I moved out and I just imagine so many things that will happen. When I broke up with him, he cried crocodile tears.

Typically, there are three outcomes to a break up, you can initiate the break, he can end it or you can both agree that you need to go your separate ways. This page is going to focus solely on the women who initiated the break up. So, the ideal person for this page would be a woman who wants to get her boyfriend back after breaking up with him. Or, you might just be considering the prospect, still unsure if your ex boyfriend is worth the trouble. There are a lot of possible breakup scenarios that can unfold. It can involve a girl who says she ended it and now wants him back. Broken spirits and broken hearts are things that are not new to the dating scene. Yet when it happens to you and you are struggling with whether your boyfriend still loves you or if he misses you, it can be heartbreaking, particularly if you think you may had made a mistake. You may have acted rashly, too swiftly to end it with him and now the regret of your decision haunts you. What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You For Breaking Up With Him? Before I get going there are a few things that I feel are really important to mention. First off, while I am going to do my very best to give you a winning strategy for getting your ex back, even if you did the breaking up, I want you to know it is possible your boyfriend will just move on. Sometimes the damage of the being dumped by your girlfriend is so overwhelming, the act of feeling betrayed just becomes too much to overcome. But most of the time, the pain eventually subsides, the emotions settle down, and cooler heads prevail with a couple finding their way back to each other. S0 if you are looking for a way to improve your chances, you are in luck as I just updated this page that will literally break everything down for you step by step and teach you. You are going to get the short version and the longer version. Oh, and FYI, it is going to take you some time to read this post completely from start to finish! Be sure to follow all the links as they will help with those nagging questions you might have about whether you can really convince your ex to forgive you for breaking up with him. Make no mistake, your ex boyfriend is going to be pretty hurt. Your ex bf is also going to be awful mad at you too for getting dumped, especially if this sort of thing has never happened to him before. So read up on everything my friend to give yourself the best chance. So you ended it with your ex boyfriend. It was time to end things you thought. Your ex had given you plenty of reasons to break up, so that is what happened. Whatever crap he was putting through, you decided you had enough. But now you are through with him. Then a bit later, I would like to talk to you further about your reasons for breaking up with your ex boyfriend in the first place. We will go over the common causes and reasons why you decided to dump him. I also think we should also talk about whether you are truly making the right decision in trying to get him back. But look, I know you may have landed here wanting to grab some ideas about how you can set things straight with your ex. So I am going to give you a little mini plan on just how you do that. Then we will talk about the other breakup stuff to make sure you are connected with why you left him in the first place and why you think he is worth getting back. Maybe you acted rashly. He could be in a rebound. Allow For Some Time To Go By Before You Try To Make Any Serious Effort To Re-establish Contact With Your Ex. Chances are that he is upset, angry, and resentful for getting dumped. Whatever the cause, it clearly ended badly and since you are the one that let him go, his predominant feeling will be one of anger and rejection. Some time needs to elapse for things to settle down 2. You Need To Give Yourself a Chance To Reevaluate Whether Your Really Want Him Back You broke up with your ex boyfriend for a reason. Maybe you ended things with him for good cause. So be careful about fully trusting your judgement at this stage. You might have a panic attack, fearing you made an awful mistake. The sheer pain of separation may be weighing on you, thus creating doubts in your mind if you did the right thing to leave your ex boyfriend. He may have begged and pleaded for you not to go through with breakup and now you are feeling guilty. Even If You Initiated the Breakup, Implement a Brief No Contact Rule Period In most cases, even if you are the one that precipitated the split up, it is best to observe a No Contact period. I would recommend a shorter No Contact period 2-3 weeks. It will help you to get more centered and experience some healing and allow your ex boyfriend to calm down and potentially become more receptive to your efforts. There is much you can accomplish during the NC period to rebuild attraction. During this period there is subtle messaging you can use to convey to your ex boyfriend that you may have acted hastily or you have gained a greater appreciation of what he means to you. Test The Waters — Send Your Ex Boyfriend a First Contact Text Message At some stage, if you have not already heard from your ex boyfriend, then you want to put a plan in place to make first contact with him. This can be accomplished by way of a text. Think of sending him a message that is going to strike a chord because it is friendly and inviting him to respond. Check my website for examples. Rebuild Trust Though Texting Over Time Remember, your ex boyfriend may still feel quite insecure about talking to you. There will be a part of him that wants to protect his own feelings, avoiding any future disappointment. Your ex may also still be harboring some angry feelings and has yet to work through them. Those resentments may come out in different ways. He may be moody, saying one thing, then later retracing. Texting may be irregular. So for these reasons and more, just think of this as a process and be patient and understanding of any volatile behavior coming from your ex boyfriend. But at some point, you need to graduate from texting to a face to face meeting so you can take the next step of winning over his confidence. Set up a Meetup With Your Ex to Restore and Repair the Relationship Foundation Try to arrange to meet with your ex someplace public and informal. Keep it casual like a lunch or a coffee. He may not be ready for that. Or he might want to badly talk about the relationship. Just steer him away from it, telling him there will be time for that. Getting into those discussions starts off the encounter with a negative and swings the conversation to relationship type of talk, and you want to steer away from that. So avoid talking at this stage about the problem that triggered the breakup. Take the time to simply enjoy each other. I recommend that you both resume the relationship as if you were first dating each other gain, getting to know each other again. While your ex boyfriend and you may love each other very much, you need to allow for your feelings to be calmed and trust to be restored. Past negative memories and grievances may be ready to spring out as they linger just below the surface. Jointly Discuss What Must Change For You Both To Be a Successful Couple After some time, it will be evident that the two of you have largely forgiven each other for whatever went on in the past. You and your ex will find joy and comfort in being in each other presence. So when the signs of your connection are consistently positive, then you both need to talk about what you can do to avoid the issues that triggered the breakup from happening again. Jointly come up with a plan and agreement on what you are going to do going forward to prevent conflict, confusion, or misunderstandings. You want to make a vow that you both will do more or less of whatever is needed to keep a breakup from happening again. Write down what you both agree to. Make a vow that you will honor this plan. Do something to symbolize your commitment. Celebrate Your Renewed Commitment Once you have gotten this far in restoring the vitality back into the relationship with your ex, do something together to celebrate how important it is that you are both back together again. Cement this new commitment with something that symbolizes your new start as a couple. I feel it is important to understand these reasons because it will let you know if your ex is really worth trying to get back. I know right after the breakup, your emotions will be pulled in all sorts of directions. Part of you wants to stand by your decision to end it. Another part of you will have this sudden panicky feeling that you have done something awful for which you will never recover. So you will likely have a bundle of confused thoughts and some of them may lead you right back to a potentially toxic situation. So be aware of that. That is not necessarily true. But I want to help you and sometimes helping someone is telling them that their ex may not worth going back to. So, here is how this is going to work. I am going to list some of the most common reasons that women break up with their boyfriends and give my thoughts on each of them. You Thought You Could Do Better. At some point in your relationship you thought you could do better. This is a theme that is all too common among women so it is nothing to be ashamed of. While certain people might want to make you feel bad for feeling this way, I actually understand where you are coming from. I think everyone deserves to get the best they can in the relationship department. Now, I will say that if your ex treated you poorly ex: physical abuse, mental abuse please do not go back to them. However, if they treated you OK then things are looking up. In fact, your ex boyfriend might welcome you back quite quickly. Nevertheless, you are going to have to work on your jealousy issues. I am not saying that you are wrong for being jealous. Actually, being jealous is natural and everybody who is in a serious relationship will feel it at some time. However, you are going to have to do a better job on dealing with it in the proper way. They Actually Cheated On You. I am going to be straight with you. So you are looking for patterns. You Became Less and Less Attracted To Them. Have you ever heard the phrase, familiarity breeds contempt. That is partly what may have happened here. You were in a relationship so long with a person that everything they did what they wore, how they talked, how they yawned just got on your nerves and made them less attractive to you. The newness and excitement may have worn off. So you broke up with them but soon realized that they were the best boyfriend you ever had. Now you want them back ASAP. Just know it is going to take some work, but you can definitely salvage the situation with the right ex recovery plan. There Was a Huge Fight That Resulted in a Breakup. If you have spent any time reading this site you may have noticed that I put together a page about. On that page I noted that one of the best reasons for wanting your ex back is if your relationship ended abruptly or impulsively as the result of a big fight. However, you definitely have a shot at getting him back because with time and space, angry and upset feelings will slowly balance out and you both will start thinking rationally. Is Your Reasoning For Wanting Your Ex Back Ok? Now that I have listed some of the most common reasons that caused you to break up with your boyfriend. It is time to do some soul searching and figure out if it is OK for you to actually take steps to getting him back. In case you are wondering, I would not recommend that every woman visiting this site go back to their boyfriend. So, the next big step I want you to take is to take out a piece of paper and write a detailed explanation on why you want your ex back. Writing this explanation down is important for a number of reasons. First off, it might allow you to take a more objective look at yourself. I know that when I write down an explanation like this, then take a break and later come back to read it, it will help me see the bigger picture. Again, I highly recommend that you check out the l article. That page pretty much sums everything up. What Are The Frequently Asked Questions About Getting An Ex Back You Dumped? Digging into the details and understanding the facts around the relationship and what led to the breakup blowup is important. But knowing something about the history of the relationship also matters. Let me give you taste of some of the frequently asked questions people have around this topic. I broke up with my ex bf months ago and it still hurts and I regret doing it. Has he moved on? The real question is whether you have moved on. Dumping your ex for the right or wrong answers will always leave you hurting. The two of you, despite whatever checkered past you may have had together, invested a lot into each other. So right now, think less about whether your ex has moved on, but focus on answering for yourself if you made the right decision and if you did, then focus on your self recovery. This is not uncommon and there can be lots of reasons why this is happening. Remind yourself that if it is early in the breakup phase, it is probably best neither of you are talking. Now there are always exceptions depending on the circumstances of the split up and your history together. But you probably left your ex for a good reason and so your focus right now should be on healing and involving yourself in new healthy routines. I had to end it with my ex bf because he was too emotionally abusive. Lately he has been nicer to me. Should I give him another chance? It your ex was consistently emotionally abusive, then it should take a lot more than a brief period of him being nice to you. He is probably trying to seduce you back, but it may very well turn out to be a disappointing experience if you take him back. He wants to start over, clean slate he says. There is probably a good reason why you ended things in the first place. It is not uncommon to have second thoughts and begin doubting yourself. Take out a sheet of paper and write down all the things that caused you to break up with him. Then write down all the things your ex bf is doing that make you really happy. Be honest with your appraisal of his strengths and weaknesses. For your ex boyfriend to be a keeper, he should have far more positives than negatives. I ended a long relationship with my boyfriend. Now he is seeing another girl, but keeps telling me he wants me back. What should I do? It can be hard to walk away from a relationship, even if it is not working out. Your mind will churn over all the possibilities about whether you made a mistake or acted too hastily. But trust in yourself. If you have been with a guy for a long time and you finally ended things, then unless it was a rash and impulsive decision, you probably ended things for really good reasons. So honor your decision and recognize that the jealousy you feel about him being with this other girl is natural. Most likely, you have your ex boyfriend pegged correctly because you have had plenty of time to evaluate the relationship. The Get Your Ex Back Strategy A few months ago I had an idea. You see, at that point I was getting a lot of emails from women every single day asking for step by step plans to get their exes back under all kinds of circumstances, just like we are talking about here i. While I am always happy to help them out with getting your ex boyfriend back after they ditched their ex, it is such a complicated subject. So there is no way for me to describe, in detail, how to do it correctly in a short email or post. So, I came up with an idea. I was going to create a step by step guide that I could point to any time someone wanted the exact process of getting an ex back. Well, the Guide took multiple months for me to write but I am so happy I did it because it has helped so many women already. You can check out the guide below! He never made time for me. I told him this 3 weeks ago. But then we talked it through and got back together. We were ok for about a week. Then things started sliding. Also note it was long distance. I got frustrated with him yesterday because I barely heard from him over the weekend and when I did it was like a one liner text. I told him I was done. So I ended it. I felt I did the right thing. Then later today I found out he unfriended me on FB. For some reason it broke me. I just said ok and left it at that. All I wanted was for him to realize how he was hurting and maybe change. I am sorry things slide away so fast. Breakups are not that rare. He seems to be either insensitive or out there feeling sorry for himself. I do think you should implement no contact. Go to my home page and check out all the resources I have that will help you put together your ex recovery plan. I am glad you were calm and felt empowered in managing this latest situation.. That is so important, not matter what happens with this relationship. You know…it have always believed the future is moving with all sorts of possibilities. We can influence it to some degree. There will be different paths you can choose to walk and it seems to me you are finding out more about yourself and your needs in a relationship…and that is a good thing. So I think you are on a very good path. Keep radiating positivity and embracing fulfilling experiences while you are engaged in your LNC. Either he catches up with you in the emotional maturity department or not. I am glad you were calm and felt empowered in managing this latest situation.. That is so important, not matter what happens with this relationship. You know…it have always believed the future is moving with all sorts of possibilities. We can influence it to some degree. There will be different paths you can choose to walk and it seems to me you are finding out more about yourself and your needs in a relationship…and that is a good thing. So I think you are on a very good path. Keep radiating positivity and embracing fulfilling experiences while you are engaged in your LNC. Either he catches up with you in the emotional maturity department or not. He showed up at my house the weekend after I broke it off and said he still wanted to be with me. I still said I wanted to be alone. He started me really mean to me yelling at my, blowing my phone up. I stayed civil with him and was calm, even nice but he choose to just be hurtful to me. The two of you need some space apart and that is what the No Contact period is all about. It will help you with what you should be doing during this No Contact period and if you do want to get him back, how you go about doing it. He is displaying a lot of this with his outbursts. You will get through this pain Brooke. Start a journal and start writing some things down is one small measure you can take. Staying active and creating some healthy routines routines is also important. The two of you need some space apart and that is what the No Contact period is all about. It will help you with what you should be doing during this No Contact period and if you do want to get him back, how you go about doing it. He is displaying a lot of this with his outbursts. You will get through this pain Brooke. Start a journal and start writing some things down is one small measure you can take. Staying active and creating some healthy routines routines is also important. We need to get you back to being happy!! I know break ups hurt, particularly the rejection part. Seems like he is going thru his anger stage. That is probably the best Companion Guide you will come across that will help you throughout the entire process. To optimize your chances, you gonna need a comprehensive blueprint! My ex and I of about a year broke up roughly 5-6 months ago. I was the one who broke up with him for factors that were issues within myself, between new distance giving me cold feet and a death of a family member bringing me down into a spiral of depression. I made up a reason that we should break up that I fully believed to be truth at the time, but in hindsight it was not. Our relationship was incredibly good, both of us leaning on and helping each other through a lot of rough instances and issues. I encouraged him to make some big decisions that I was really proud of him for! I really think i was in love with him. And I ruined everything, but I regret it so intensely. We went no contact up until a few days ago when I messaged him again and he replied. I messed up so badly, and I wish I had been someone better in the past. I know…the breakup hurt can linger for a good spell. It seems you have learned from it, which is all anyone can expect. I want you to be your own best friend. It starts with that. If you like and love yourself, that only helps you in the future with him and everyone else you encounter. It is also important to have a plan…a blueprint to follow to maximize your chances of getting him back. It sounds like you guys are talking again and that is positive. Just go it slow and slowly ramp up the attraction. Remember, less is more. In time you will have an opportunity to convey what your mindset was in the past, and I think he will understand. Regardless of me being a junior in high school and him being a senior in high school, I can truly say that the both of us received and gave true love to each other. I can say that the problem between our relationship was me being a little too giving and understanding and him being a little too jealous and slightly controlling. Our break up had ended on a good note, and it was where we both knew that we had feelings for each other but I had just persisted on breaking up. I would rather go through the emptiness of waiting for him to come back then the emptiness of him never being next to me anymore. I understand your dilemma. It is not an unusual for those going through a breakup. Just know that the future is always moving and lots of different things can happen, many of which you have not control. But you have control of your attitude and I can see from the prose of your writing that you are special and special things will happen for you, no matter how this turns out. Yes, having some space to get in touch with your feelings is always a wise choice to get in touch with your feelings. After six months I moved in with him. We fought about me wanting to live for free. I had no money to give. Then his daughter beat me up, cuz he told me not to let her in the house. It all went down hill from there. The last fight we had I packed my clothes up and left. I had a six year relationship. I felt that I cant love any other person because I only love my boyfriend and though he treated me in a wrong way , I never cant forget him because my love for him is true. I need him back. I only can pray to god and there is no one out there to help me. I went for medical help but no I cant forget him because he is my whole world. I texted him everyday crying and begging him to come. I was depressed, felt alone, cried all the time because i didnt want it to end but it had to. I met a guy who treated me 100x better than he ever did but it wasnt the same. Im still struggling with this because I want to reach out to him but I completely shattered his heart and he never wants to talk to me again. There were points in time that i felt like I wanted to die but nothing EVER is worth taking your own life. Im going to leave you with this: somebody once told me that God has a plan for you. He does everything for a reason, you just have to trust that God knows whats best for you. He acted different while we were together. He had just broken up with his ex for cheating on him, so we got together. After we broke up he got with her again. I feel like she was just his rebound, though. I only realized what I was missing out on only after we broke up. I felt it is not moving anywhere, the progress was very slow, I wanted to meet more often and make a plan for the future… He did say I was his priority, is just that he was not sure he wants to have a serious relationship with anyone, as in to live together or get married. We had a great connection, he said I was a wonderful person and he was lucky to have me in his life, but a stupid argument provoked the talk and then I saw no other way but to just break up to preserve my value if he was not ready to commit. I did more than a month of NC, and miss him terribly and would like to try again.. I have to say previously after arguments he would try harder and make more effort, and he was there for me when I needed him, which gives me hope that maybe he changed his mind. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in February of this year. I feel that I had many people interfering in our relationship and I had to many people telling me what to do and i have regretting my decision ever since. However, one month no contact has passed and he contacted me and then we spoke briefly and then another month of no contact passed to which I then returned home for summer and I contacted him to see if he would meet up with me and without any hesitation he did. I feel that I am doing all the chasing and pursuing because theres nothing I want more than us together again. How do I turn the tables and have him chasing me and wanting this too? Thanks so much for this site and your advice! I was in a relationship with my ex for around 6 months, met the family and friends and everything like that. I broke up with him a couple of months ago because he was becoming distant and I felt like I had to make all the effort with him. I know he was stressed at the time due to workload and he had recently moved houses from being alone to living with a house with his friends. I said to forget it in that case. It was a very very short conversation, no discussion of what needed work in the relationship. After a week I called him multiple times and basically begged for him to give us another chance. After multiple attempts of trying to get him back I gave up. A few weeks later he sent me various messages asking if I wanted to meet up casually to do some work. I said no, because what he said to me about not loving me was so hurtful. He then eventually asked me how I would feel if he was changing his mind about not wanting to get back together. At this point he just stopped replying. Another week later I called him asking if he wanted to study together. He said yes, but when I turned up his friend was also there. His friend ended up leaving and it was just us left. He told me that we both hurt eachother. I decided to leave and he said that we could talk about it properly after his exams. The night before his exam he sent me a picture of what was coming up in them and I wished him luck. I also sent him a message asking him how they went, but no reply. He always said to me that once he had broken up with someone there was no chance he would ever go back to that person. He has a lot of pride and is extremely stubborn. What do I do now? I feel like he has lost feelings for me and there is no chance of us getting back together. Is this the end? I feel bad because I totally overreacted with breaking up with him, but he was no angel in our relationship either. And please help me. I hve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend since an year. In Beginning he used to text me a lot. Caring for me and what I was upto. But since last 4-5 months he is so busy in his job that he hardly texts me. So I used to get hurt often. Next day he replied me its nthng like dat, I love u a lot. Only that m very busy. I said its ok. Then again next night happened the same. No texts at all. I texted Good Night and then no reply. I started to call him, 11 pm. He picked my call, I aaked him whether he was hvng issues with our relation. He said no its not like dat. So I am bit tensed. I was in much anger and humiliation dat time. So I said straight that you see your own life. But I blocked him. And after 2 days unblocked him. He started to message again that you hve left me. I think my fate is only bad. May you get someone better than me. I pray for you. We ll never meet again. I read his messages and reblocked him. After blocking I cried. Now I have unblocked him again and I want him back in my life. M feeling very sad and difficult to carry on with my studies. What shall I do please suggest. We meet from a reputed matrimonial site and started relationship in Dec 2015 when we met for 2 day vacation. We were texting and talking on phone a month before we met personally. We were in relationship for 5-6 months and I started seeing decline in interest after 2-3 months. The meetings starts getting canceled and then I was out for business trip for 2 consecutive months and then went to my home country. But he was making plans to go for a trip the other weekend But never mentioned that we are gonna celebrate my birthday. I got heart broken and I asked him that I want to talk and then he just stopped texting me back and opened his profile on the online dating site where we met first. He texted me after 2 days of my birthday just a wish and I just said thanks. After a week I felt that may be I should initiate a contact and wont mention about our differences. I called and texted and he never responded. I also started moving but after a month I really missed him so I though I will give one more try and I emailed him just a simple saying sorry and that I love him. No response after a month he texted me saying he needs help with some of his school work. He again started communicating showing interest but never talked about what happened. But again after the week I was on a bussiness trip out of country. Texts again started to get less and less. I would see him on facebook but not text me back and I got angry and blocked him. But then again during halloween I just wished him just like to other friends and he immediately started responding. We started communicating once again. Then he asked me to join him for thanksgiving dinner with his family. It was great time his dad liked me :. He also treated me as if I am his girlfriend and was perfectly treating me. Until I came back to my city. The texts started slowly getting less. Now the last time was when it was 31 dec and I wished him for new year and he responded. After that I also stoped texting and after 20 days I texted asking how he is doing. I texted 3-4 times in week and telling what was going on with me. I could see he has read messages but didnt bothered to respond. I just did a final text saying that I am relieved he is ok as i can see he read texts. It has been 10 days I havent heard from him. I sent him birthday gift which he should have received when I was texting him but ne never bothered to say thanks. But I will just think that may be we were not compatible all along. But I am in Love with him and it does hurt sometimes. Do you have insight or suggestions?

He seems to be either sincere or out there feeling sorry for himself. Has anyone gone through this. Or is it just male pride not to show any emotion after they get dumped. Do you have insight or suggestions. I really want him back. I hope this helped!. North crap he was putting through, you decided you had enough.